eight rinks

I dunno why iapos;ve been updating so much. I dont particularly have much to say at all. I took tyson to the vet early in the morning, it was a rough day for him :( I love that little shithead so much. Heapos;s sleeping right by my feet right now actually, and keeps crying for a treat from time to time. All the old ladies thougth he was especially handsome at the vet this morning too, oh heapos;s such a little charmer, ha.

right now i canapos;t sleep so i decided to do some massive cleaning and rid myself of some stress. I also have the worldapos;s biggest "to do" list written on teh mirror in my bathroom, the whole mirrors is almost consuemd by it. I always liked doing that the best, just taking a dry erase marker and writing on my mirror. That way i see it everyday, ha. As if it makes a difference.

tomorrow i have a midterm, which i should proablaby try to prepare for but iapos;m not too concerned about and then i have speech class. After that itapos;s the weekend. Iapos;m not TOO hyped but iapos;m not ready to spend another weekend in by myself again.

Iapos;m extremely stressed out these days, I feel so behind and so out of control with alot of elements in my life. I have alot of money concerns and stresses. And iapos;ve really got this huge to do list i need to work off, plus just other things too like not having a clean room for a long time now adds to the pressure i feel.

iapos;m still trying to cut out the bullshit in my life right now and figure out whatapos;s legit and whatapos;s not. Whatapos;s worth my time, whatapos;s a real goal and whatapos;s just a pipe dream that i need to move on from, and so on and so forth.

I just hate these days when i realize how "young" i still am and how unprepared and how much growing up and maturing i have to do, while still maintaing a good balance that prevents me from becoming too uptight, too pretentious, confidant and etc...because even though in my mind i can perceive all teh more responsible choices, it doesnapos;t necesarily mean iapos;ll be able to commit to them or live them because i am still young. And itapos;s just a matter of udnerstanding that young doesnapos; tmean wreckless but that i stil need to be young for right now, because iapos;ll never get to be it again. An blah blah blah. I mostly talkt o james about this stuff.

I havenapos;t really talked to beverly in a while and i do miss her. I was talking to dalia alot for a while there, we kinda havenapos;t talked in some time but iapos;ll try and call her soon. I"ll add them both to my to do list, ha. Man, writing this right now is actually making me very sleep and i think iapos;ll just switch over to goign to bed and waking up early now. Even though i never do wake up early, iapos;m on a mission to this time around.

Iapos;m still waiting for my two professors to give me back some feedback on the little beggining piece i have for my novel. Iapos;ve kinda lost some of my momentum in the last weeks but i know that as soon as i get their comments back iapos;ll be motivated to get right back into it. Iapos;m surprised with myself, honestly, and how much iapos;m working with atleast some level of organization/outlining. I really just want to get this one out there, for once. Although, i have all new ideas now about writing and being a "writer". I think iapos;m finally going to start sucking it up and embracing the title more and allow myself to feel and see myself as a writer, which is something iapos;ve never truly done.

ugh, note to self, another thing to add to the "to do" list, is back up my mac onto my harddrive via time machine. Ya know, i love alot of aspects of time machine minus the fact that really, all i needed was just a place to store my photos, music and writing. The rest i can live without, however teh convenience of time machien is still appealing. Oh well.

moving along...

I had a dream last night with scott in, second one in a row. He really pissed me off in the dream and i find it amusing now to think that when i woke up, I was so angry with him i had half a mind to call him up, call him an asshole, tell him to fuck off and hang up...with no explaination. Haha, oh the power of dreams ot sincerely influence your entire sense of emotion. Itapos;s hilarous.

Itapos;s not that i regert ever dating scott but just that right now, i wish i could atleast temporarily erase him from my life. Heapos;s so frustrating and he doesnapos;t bring me any good right now.

also, i think iapos;m gonna suck it up and submit this article i wrote on black exploitation and flavor of love for my profressional writing class to a few journals finally. I was supposed to have submitted it anyway originally for a grade. Iapos;ve gotten really reallly positive feedback on it and even though iapos;m sure the reason i never do anythign is that i probably have some internal fear of rejection iapos;m just gonna suck it up and do it. Might as well.

i few other really professional, well researched articles i might put out there too. Hmmmm.....

im so sleepy. I really need a shower too. Time for bed
eight rinks, eight rinks burnaby, eight rinks burnaby bc, eight rinks in burnaby.