cancer of the rib cage

I donapos;t even know what Iapos;m doing anymore. I donapos;t know who I am when I look at myself. I take so much shit from people. The other day I called a friend of mine a bitch and told her to lay off. She wasnapos;t angry, she was actually happy that I "stood up to her". I didnapos;t raise my voice at all or anything, but while I was saying it it felt so very not me.

Itapos;s not as if I take the crap people say to me to heart. I just let it roll off of me. Itapos;s not like me to snap back at someone. I donapos;t know.

Seeing PA the other night did strange things to me. Iapos;m not even sure what I mean by that. Sheapos;s still the wonderful person I remember, and seemed to like the person Iapos;m becoming. Thereapos;s no wall between us like there is with almost everyone else I know, things arenapos;t hidden with her. I miss that, almost child-like, honesty. I need my life to be simple.

cancer of the rib cage, cancer of the sinuses.